Back in the day, which was, you know, 2007-2009, I had another blog. It was called “Honest and Juicy,” and the tagline was “If you don’t like what it says, don’t read it.” I feel that way about this blog and other blogs, too. This isn’t required reading, though I’m grateful to those who do come to visit.

After I published the post about my new year’s resolution of not hanging out with People Who Suckwhich included the disappointment and hurt over the way one person in particular treated me as a friend and in business, I started getting some interesting searches on this blog.

I dare you to challenge the wisdom of Ms. Lamott.

The most entertaining searches were the following:

  • “tricia oakes southern spark alcoholic” (I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic. I’d call it “binge drinking with panache.”)
  • “tricia oakes southern spark bankrupt” (Someone close to me stole my identity while I was studying abroad for a year and put me into a huge amount of debt I could never hope to repay. I was 24 and working as a special ed teacher when I realized how bad the situation was. It was devastating in a lot of ways and if you’d like to pour some salt in that old wound, that would be fab. And unless you are looking to lend me large sums of money, I don’t see why my credit history matters.)
  • “tricia oakes southern spark history of bullying” (Please. You and your ridiculous. Get out of here.)
  • “tricia oakes southern spark institutionalized” (I’m very open about the fact that I’ve seen some dark days. And I have fantasized about having a little break in my very own padded room on Bull Street. But no, haven’t been institutionalized. But if I ever am, I’ll be sure to write a full review of the amenities.)
  • “tricia oakes southern spark sucks” (Well, that’s a matter of opinion. But if you think it sucks or that I’m a jerk and you still keep coming back and reading, that’s on you.)

and my personal favorite,

  • “tricia oakes southern spark non-compliant sociopath” (Except the person who searched it didn’t put a hyphen between “non” and “compliant.” I think that was what offended me the most. And sure. Yeah. I’m non-compliant. If not giving a crap what anybody thinks about me is the definition of it.)

Listen, if you ever have any questions about me, you are always welcome to email me at sparkreviews at gmail dot com or leave a comment. Or, if you live nearby, you can come over and we’ll hug it out. However, you should also know that the best and (for some people) scariest thing about me is I don’t get embarrassed to be myself. And I will probably blog about it.

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