I’m in love with my gynecologist. OK, so maybe it’s not love, but I do want to be friends with her.

So much that I look forward to seeing her every year.

She has cared for me through both of my pregnancies and told me I could have c-sections if I wanted to. I did, and have never regretted it. She’s a parent, too, and her kids are a little older than mine. It’s nice to have someone in the “parenting trenches” with me.

I spotted this mama possum in the tall grass with her babies hanging off of her yesterday morning. I know how she feels.

When I  cried all over her yesterday during my annual appointment when I explained my depression medication needs adjusting, she didn’t even blink. It made me wonder if it happens to her a lot. Considering how many people I know who deal with symptoms similar to mine, I’m guessing so. It also makes me wonder why it is I socialize with so many people who have chemical imbalances. It takes some crazy mofos to appreciate other crazy mofos is my professional opinion.

When I mentioned the Law of Crazy Mofo Attraction to one of my private facebook blogging groups, Stephanie suggested that there should be Zoloft-infused vodka in the world. Crazy and brilliant mofos are my favorite. And since Abbie says she has been known to google “vitamins that make moms scream less,” I know it will be a hot seller.  (Also, Zoloft vodka idea trademarked, intellectual property copyrighted, registered and dibs called on already. Don’t even try to steal it.) Perhaps we should start adding SSRIs to the water system in all suburban areas like they do fluoride for the general wellness of the public. Though vodka sounds like a lot more fun.

That awkward time when you’re just chillin’ in a gown waiting for the lady doctor to come check out your girl parts.

— Tricia Oakes (@SparkReviews) April 11, 2013

My gyno’s office also provides fabric gowns instead of paper ones. It makes me love her all the more. Though I think it would amazeballs for us to be friends, I think it would be weird for her. Notice I said it would be weird for her. She has regularly seen my girl parts and I’ve willingly let her cut me open and pull babies out of my belly while I was awake to smell the skin cauterizing. You’d think we’d be pretty close. However, it might be a violation of HIPAA or ethics or something, and I love her so much I don’t want her to get in trouble for fraternizing with crazy people. But I bet if I invited her over for a Zoloft Vodka Porch Sit, she’d come.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *